In Memory of our Sweet "soldier" Miles

We miss you sweet baby Miles!

I love this tender picture!

Sleep, little Miles, our beautiful Miles.

Me and Ashley, after the funeral. Isn't she
beautiful?

Miles' burial. The little soldier on his casket
is because "Miles" means soldier.

I love this picture of Mark and Ashley
because at the end of the day, they have each
other to hold onto and to go through joy AND pain
together.

Be Still, And know that I am God.

Yes, my heart aches and my emotions are so close to the surface I can't even think about anything too deep without shedding tears.

OUR sweet, tiny little Miles passed away on Wednesday, after 2 days of life on this earth. The nurses and doctors at Banner Desert worked relentlessly to save him and yet it wasn't to be. There were just too many obstacles to overcome for him. And he was just too good and "pure and lovely" for this earth life. He only needed to come and receive his body and then move on to his next mission!

So that is the comfort we hold onto.

He came long enough for everyone who saw him to love him--from his mom and dad, and grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, to the doctors and nurses and medical people who worked on him and watched over him while he was there in the NICU. They were awesome! Beyond awesome, and we can't say enough about how caring and loving they were with Miles as well as with us, the family. Especially when the time came for us to say goodbye to him. I didn't ever expect to see his doctor cry with Mark and Ashley. OR even Ashley's doctor who came up to comfort Ash and Mark. IT really was amazing to see the caring and compassion they all have and had.

In Mark and Ashley's behalf, I just want to tell all of you great friends and family thank you for the many, many prayers and love, and support you have given them and us. Wow! Again, I am amazed! I don't think I've ever been on this side of it before, and it is truly humbling.

So, no I would never, never, ever, ever choose this trial to go through, I must say that it has also been a very neat experience, in the fact that we as a family and extended family have grown closer, and seen the hand of God working, in different ways, even if not in the most wanted way. We have been humbled, we have learned to appreciate more fully, we have learned that we are loved more than we ever thought, and that people are inherently good and kind and concerned for others. We have learned to trust in our Heavenly Father more, and learned to have more faith in our Savior, and his Atonement. And it has become all the more real and personal for us as we contemplate meeting, hugging, talking, playing, and being with Miles again at another time!! We know that Ashley and Mark will be able to raise him one day. The words of the Prophet Joseph Smith have been of great comfort to them about this:

Joseph Horne said: "I heard the Prophet Joseph Smith say that mothers should receive their children just as they laid them down, and that they would have the privilege of doing for them what they could not do here, the Prophet remarked: ‘How would you know them if you did not receive them as you laid them down?’ I also got the idea that children would grow and develop after the resurrection and that the mothers would care for them and train them." (H.C. 4:556-557)
Joseph Smith: "And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven." (H.C. 2:380-381)
Joseph Smith: . . ."The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoce as they are delivered from evil and we shall soon have them again." (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p 196-197, 1964
edition)

There's more, but these are the main jist of it all.

So there you have it. In our mourning and sorrow, we also rejoice and are happy for our Miles is celestial, and pure and it is up to us to make our way back to him! With that I will share some pictures of our final time with him.

Miles to go!

Miles Dillon Huston- my gorgeous first grandchild came into the world yesterday, December 1, 2008 at 12:05 pm weighing 2 lbs. 8 oz. and 13 3/4 inches long. Ashley (his mom) was 26 weeks along. He has miles and miles to go before he will be healthy and out of the woods, and "Miles" means "soldier" and he is definitely a fighter and a trooper and will need to continue to be to hold on and be ok. So the story of his fight begins, of course, at about 19 weeks, when Ashley started leaking amniotic fluid. It was determined that she had a rupture or tear in her sac. She was on bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy and at 24 weeks was admitted into the hospital, once he was "viable" and they could and would be able to monitor her and they could save him if delivered early.

Well we (I say we, but it was all Ashley, of course!) made it to 26 weeks, and and on that day--yesterday, she got up to use the bathroom and something came out that was more than just urine or other! I happened to walk in right then for my daily visit, and she excitedly yelled that she needed a nurse. The nurse rushed in right after me. After laying her down and checking her she realized it was the umbilical cord that was out and that it was a crisis on her hands. Within a few seconds several other nurses rushed in, I pulled a chair out of the way, and they whisked her bed and all down the hall and over to 'labor and delivery" OR for an emergency C-section.

Miles came out not breathing or with a heartbeat. They resuscitated him, and he's been on all kinds of tubes, wires, meds, fluids, etc since! He is beautiful on the outside, but his insides are struggling. So we live day to day (no, hour to hour actually!). It has been the hardest, craziest, not fun roller coaster ride ever. One hour he's doing ok. The next he's not responding and things are looking bad. The next, he's a hair better. And so on and so on. Needless to say, we are all exhausted.

It's amazing how much you can love a person so fast! Only Ashley and Mark have been allowed to touch him, but I can go in and look at him as his Grandma whenever I want (with the correct badge at least!). I want to hold him or at least hold his tiny tiny hand and touch him but hopefully that will come.

I was sitting in the NICU today, with a lot of thoughts and prayers and questions going on in my mind. I really just wished I knew what the outcome would be, and with all his problems it looks grim and the doctors are a little TOO honest at times (not really, but it seems that way!!), and I just had all this going through my mind. When a thought came into my mind. The thought was, "Be still, and know that I am God." It was as if Heavenly Father was just telling me, "Rhea, be still, chill out a bit. Just watch and see what I can do. And know that I can do anything!"

It was such a comfort to me. Especially, since a few weeks earlier, when Ashley had started with all the problems, and it was kind of a down day too, and the same thought had come then. So, this has become my "motto" and my comfort and my answer to all that is happening right now. I had to go and look it up to see where it is even in the scriptures. I have heard that quoted all my life, and yet never knew where it is. So for those of you who want to know, it is in two places: Psalms 46:10 and also, D & C 101:16. The pictures are pretty self explanatory. Ashley was very excited because as she was holding his hand today he grabbed on to her. At one point she looked up and said, "oh, he's squeezing my finger!". Tender mercies!

Things that make me happy- right now!

Ok, call me a copy cat, Loretta. But I loved your list of things that make you happy!!

So thought I'd do it too. So here goes:

1. The fatigue you feel after a really good workout!

2. Reading new posts on others' blogs - especially ones that make me laugh

3. Ashley making it through another day still pregnant!

4. sleeping in past 6:30 am

5. most music by John Mayer - (I was more than excited to hear his remake of '"Free Falling" acoustic style!! love it!!! check out my playlist)     

6. A good crying romantic movie! (One I just watched yesterday - "The Magic of    Ordinary Days" - it's a hallmark movie, but was very good. Ash and I cried and ahhhhhhhed!!)  

7. our great fall weather!!!

8. getting that weekly email from Tanner

9. Sunday night dinners with all my kiddos!

10. goofing off with my wonderful laurels!

11. the once in a great whiles that Taylor still kind of snuggles up to me - in his own way! ("mom, scratch my back", putting his arm around me. or plopping down on the couch next to me, and letting me poke and scratch, or hug or ??!)

12. Reading! Reading! Reading!!!!

13. Seeing new places

14. The ocean 

15. Talking to my mama - and being able to!

16. Going out to lunch!!! (and dinner too!)

17. babies and little guys! (especially during church!!!)

18. yummy cookies! 

19. Ice cream - caramel praline!

20. When my hubby walks in the door after work!

I could go on but that's a pretty good start!! I should do this everyday! It really makes you think about all the good stuff in your life!!!

A little of this, a lot of that!

Top to bottom: Allie and Aaron (Ok, so I need an updated pic of you two!); Tanner and ?? other Elders; A Russian family-not sure if they are investigators or members!! (all we get are the pics-no explanations); Sam and Zach (our cutie great nephew) opening one of Sam's B-day presents!; Ashley showing off her sexy pose- hand on belly and all!!!; Taylor waiting to go in for offense. A "scary" Halloween game!

Wow!It's been almost two weeks since I last posted!! Imagine that! How the time does fly! We've had Halloween (no big whoopie here. It was sooooo anti-climatic from the week end before and our lovely costumes, parties and such!). There was nothing going on party wise for us ON Halloween, and Taylor had a football game that night. So that was our thrill!! I didn't even buy candy or pass any out. We weren't home!! Oh wait, we did go to the Browns for chile and cornbread!! Thanks Tricia and Rod!! That was fun and oh so good!! But we had to eat and run to make the game!! What are these schools thinking, putting silly football games on Halloween night??

Well, besides that I have been doing a lot of babysitting my "baby girl" Ash! She is still hangin' in there. Yesterday, she had a doctor's appt. and the latest is that the baby has some fluid around his heart. I guess that means that it is having to work harder for some reason. So we are still praying for her and him to hang on tight!! See the above picture of her comfortable position she's had to stay in for the past couple of weeks and hopefully a lot more too! Now some of you may say, "she is so lucky! She gets to lay around all day and night too!" But I can tell you--not as one who has lived through it herself, but one who is witness to it and all, it is not what it is all cracked up to be!! She can lay only on her sides. So she shifts back and forth. She can get up to use the restroom and to shower, but that is the extent of her getting around. No sitting up, on her back, stomach, sitting in the car for any longer than to my house(a block maybe) and to the doctor. While Mark is at work and school, I am her personal, and loving, caregiver! This is in no way a complaint, but it has definitely put a damper on my carefree, come as I go way of life! I have been in that state for far too long and so am adjusting to "having" to be somewhere at a certain time and place! I have been trying to come up with a cause or a way to give more. I think the Lord decided to make the next move for me!! Sorry Ash, that it involved you and the baby!! Ok, I am kidding. Really! Truly!! IT's NOT just all about me in this life!!! Anyhoo, life goes on and we live it!!! Ain't it great???

Another new thing, Sam turned another year older on Wednesday. Happy Birthday my love! Don't want to give away his age but he is one year shy of THE biggie!!! I leave it to you to figure out which one is THE biggie!! (when you look at us and realize the age of our kids, it's not that hard to figure out!!!)

Also, Thursday was my dear dad's 84th birthday! Wow! Keep on keeping on Dad!!! And MOm too!!

So that is what this family has been up to! Not too exciting. I could tell you lots of stories of creative stuff I do all day long and night too.(haha OR show wonderful, adorable pictures of my kids -- oh, wait, I did that, didn't I???

Update on Aaron and Allie:

Aaron and Allie are cute as always, and busy, busy, busy with school and work as always!!! Lately, we have seen them, but not together. For instance, for my birthday, Allie came on the Sunday before, without Aaron. He had some major midterms to study for. Then the next night, on my b-day, Aaron came, without Allie, cuz she had class!! So it's a great treat when they both come and together!! Just remember what our bishop told me and Sam when we were students. He said that life will just get busier and to enjoy the time you have now!! (We honestly thought he was crazy, back then, but in some respects he was right on!!)

Speaking of Aaron and Allie-- they did come to Taylor's football game on Halloween. They came about 3rd or maybe first part of 4th quarter. NOw up to this time, Gilbert was ahead and doing fine. As they walked up to the paybooth, they heard the announcer say something about Gilbert fumbling, on the 1 yard line!! Yes, he was about to make a touchdown, got tackled and fumbled!!! From there, it just got scarier, than worse, then in overtime, just downright disgusting!!!! (Gilbert lost to Chandler 35-42!). So here's the spooky part!!! Aaron and Allie have only come to 3 of Taylor's games. Not that that is bad, actually it is great that they came to 3! But, and here's the freaky part, the 3 games that Gilbert lost this season, are the 3 that Aaron and Allie came to!!! Think about it!!! Could it be they are cursed??? I mean two of the three they lost in the last few seconds or in overtime!! The other, well, actually, I think Aaron and Allie came earlier than usual!! I don't know Allie!!! I just don't know!!! Maybe we need to have you two exorcized or something!!!

Tanner update:
Tanner is still doing the Elder stuff in Russia. I was just going through the last pics he sent (which are pretty old by now!) But was enjoying the videos he sent also. He is a funny guy! He is in Sochi now. It is where the winter Olympics will be in 2014. I'm still waiting for pics of there. He is not real timely with his pictures! Maybe I'll actually see them when he gets home!! Or maybe, just maybe, Kelcey, his girlfriend has them!! No, I won't go there, AGAIN! But we anxiously wait to get his emails every week. I DID get my very own birthday, handwritten letter, in the actual mail, for my birthday!! It came a week or two after, but, boy was I thrilled!! It's great! Another of those wonderful paydays!!

Just to quote a few lines:

"So mom, do you know that I love you!? Because I do very much!! YOu are the bestest mom that anyone could ask for. I miss annoying you with all that I do!! haha But that was just my way of showing you that I love you!! You have always been such a great example to me mom both in things of the world and with gospel things. Thank you so much for stressing the importance of the gospel always!! It has helped me so much and I can already see so many blessings I have received from being part of this family and church!!!! . . ."

Isn't it so so great!!?

Well, enough is enough and I still have to see if I can figure out the picture vs. the words thing. I need some expert help, someone out there!!!

Have a great one!

Comedic Relief

ON Saturday night we had the great opportunity to attend an annual Halloween party with Sam's brother, John and his wife Mylie!
"Brother Brigham" and 3 of his favorite wives attended also! It was a wild night and fun was had by all!!
Oh, and by the way, the "lovely" wife with the red bonnet was wife number 1! As you can see in the first picture. They have a "special" relationship!!!

Otherwise Occupied!

So it has been a week since I posted last. It seems like it was a year!
Funny how fast life can change!
My Ashley has gone from a regular 20 week pregnant gal, expecting her first little guy (a boy) to the relm of high risk pregnancy -- due to a ruptured amniotic sac. Or in other words a hole in her sac. Or in other other words, her water has broke but only in leaky form, rather than the gushing you get at the end of pregnancy at time to deliver.
There is no reason that they know of, why this happened, no blame or fault--just a freak of nature that we get to deal with.
But the scary part is that if she gets an infection in it, they will have to immediately deliver our little man and he is just too little and not fully ready for the outside world and would not survive.
So as all would understand, this week has been one hellish, roller coaster ride of a week. I wish I could say it is over and all is well. Boy how I so wish I could say that.
Instead, all I can say is that Ashley is on bedrest, at home, now, and it is a very precarious waiting game. This morning she called and said she was spotting and needed to head to the hospital. Mark was at work and I was planning on getting over there to sit with her, but this happened before I got there. So we had a nice ride to the hospital and a tense hour or so, while they did a blood test to determine if she had an infection or not. Everything seemed to be normal and fine, as far as white blood count, and oxygen levels and all. No tenderness or any other indication that there is a problem right now. It is a very helpless, scary, anxiety ridden time for Ashley and Mark, and for us as her parents. I don't like it. Not one bit!
If she can hang on until she is 24 weeks along, little Miles has a good chance of surviving. So that is our prayer. Any time after that will be an even better blessing. So we go through each day, holding our breath and . . . praying!
YOu would think in this day and age with all the amazing things they are able to do, that they could easily go in and patch up a hole in a sac, wouldn't you?? I mean come on, they can operate on a fetus before it's even born and fix it's heart! Why not this? From what I've read, this would definitely save many a baby that are born too early.
But, I don't want to sound ungrateful. We DO live in a time that promises so much more than any other time for babies still in mommies tummys and all.
I do have to say that I am SO very grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have of our Heavenly Father. That he lives and loves us. That He is definitely aware of us and our situation. I just am trying to trust Him and rely on HIm --no matter what the outcome may be.
Who ever said that it might not be easy but it would be worth it???? I am not sure I really like that saying right now!!!
But we, especially Ashley are hanging in there. And I have to admit-- it has definitely made my prayers more sincere and intense lately!!
I just hope what we are supposed to be learning is being learned!