I just opened my email and this is what I found. This is a very tender mercy for this missionary mom.
What a sweet, wonderful, thoughtful, and in-tune with the spirit mission president's wife Sister Harrison is! I have to say that this little note touched me so much and I, of course, have to admit brought (I should say, is still bringing!!) tears to my eyes!! If you haven't ever had a child on a mission, I don't know how to explain the bag full of so many emotions and feelings that go with it. But in an attempt to try, these are some of the feelings and emotions, I, at least had and do have when Aaron and Ashley were serving, and now Tanner. It is an interesting ride:
Feelings and Emotions:
1)
Excitement!!! (When they send papers in, when they get their calls!!!!, when you get to shop and plan and spend a lot of time with them before getting ready for it!! (They really do need you for this, honestly!!) Then when you take them to the MTC.
And hereafter, every Tuesday night (MOndays-8:30am or so with Aaron, and various times with Ashley)at about 10-10:30 pm when Tanner will be getting on and sending his email!!! And at the end -- indescribable excitement when you see them walking down the airport gate, and you're not supposed to go past a certain point and you can't help yourself and meet him/her halfway!!
2)
Sadness. When you drop them off at the MTC and give them your last hug. All the way home (driving from AZ it is about 11 hrs.!) At times when you least expect it. And sometimes when you do!! (Sometimes you just need a good cry!)
3)
Pride! I mean the good kind!!! So so proud of your child who made such a man size decision at such a young age and even though you know they are scared to death and nervous and anxious, they still go through with it because they know it is the right thing at the right time and they have a testimony of Jesus Christ and HIS mission here on earth!!
4)
Concern (more to the point-worry). Concern that they are not eating right, are healthy, are happy, aren't too overwhelmed, too stressed, too shy, not prepared enough (this is a reflection on myself of course!!), too homesick, etc etc. The list never ends on this one!!
5)
Guilt. This goes hand in hand with the last one. Guilt that you only sent one package in the past 6 weeks, guilt that you may have not put exactly what he needs and wants to help him be happy and not so homesick. Guilty that you may have not taught him to cook, iron, sew on a button, manage his money, wash his clothes, etc etc. Again this list is never ending!!
6)
Homesickness. Or maybe better described as a "melancholy feeling" or just downright missing your boy 0r girl!! The intensity of this feeling lessens the longer they are out. But still comes and goes throughout the mission, and a letter in the mail (especially) and those wonderful emails help this!!
7)
Humbleness. That feeling that you are the mother of one awesome young man or woman and maybe just maybe you had a part in creating and influencing him/her.
8) Faith. Believe me, as a missionary mom, your faith is greatly increased!!! First of all, if I didn't have a testimony of this gospel, why would I allow my child to be sent to Peru, or Nebraska, or Russia!!! of all places without any control or say of anything they do?? Secondly, because I have absolutely no control over what, when, where,or how they are doing, I HAVE to put my whole trust into, of course and foremost, Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, but also trust the mission president, the church authorities etc. My faith has definitely increased many times over!!!
Now that doesn't seem so hard does it???
Well, let me tell you-- it is one, if not THE hardest things I've had to do ever. They don't really tell the moms this. They tell the missionaries, that it'll be one of the hardest things they'll ever do in their lives, but not the moms.
I am here to tell you-- it is!!
But, it is also, the coolest, exciting-est, joyous, craziest, and most blessed time too!!
And so-- here is the message that started this whole ramble!!
From: Michael A. Harrison (Tanner's Mission President)
Date: Monday, September 15, 2008 11:52 PM
To:
Subject: zc
Size: 3 KB
I just wanted to write a quick note to all the moms of my missionaries. Last
zone conference, when I was giving my talk, I asked the missionaries to write
down what they expected to get out of their missions. After a few minutes, I
then asked them to write down what their moms expected for themto get out of
their missions. And it was so cute - because, without fail, every missionary
smiled when I asked about their moms. I told them the things that I expected
from my children when they served their missions and that's exactly what I
expect of my Russian missionary sons and daughters too.
I thought it was so tender when I saw your missionary smile at the thought of
his mom and wanted to share that with you.
I love your missionary too.
Sister Harrison