Changes

My dad died yesterday.

 Me, Rhea Whatcott Dahl, lost my father. I was going to say I didn't really lose him, because I know where he is, but I guess in a general sense I don't REALLY know where he is. 

Anyway, I digress. 

I feel like I've posted similar posts before. Somewhere around the first of December. December 3rd, to be exact. Yowza. It just hit me that it's been 3 months, today, that our little Miles died. 

What is the deal? I don't really know what to say at this point. I know my Dad is in a better place. He is running, and jumping and flying (he was a pilot during WWII) and dancing, if he wants to. Not sure he was ever very excited about dancing. I'll have to ask my mom about that one. He is arguing politics or whatever with his older brother, and dad, and kissing his mom and sister and in laws and best friend, and smiling and laughing and being reintroduced and introduced and hugging and joking, with that funny dry sense of humor of his (so dry that at times we weren't quite sure if it was a joke or not!!), and listening, and probably being shy, but that's ok, because as spirits we can communicate without actually talking, I think. and if there are newspapers in the spirit world, HE IS READING THEM, and just loving the freedom from a slow, diseased, worn out body that drug him down quite low. 

He is free. And he has graduated. I wonder if he got to be greeted by the Savior? Is that part of the deal for the righteous? I like to think so. If so he is feeling more than we could ever comprehend here on earth. Does he get to go meet and shake hands or hug the prophet Joseph Smith? Adam? Moses? President Hinckley? I sure hope so. Do we mingle with all that have passed on? 

So here's to my Dad. Hip hip hooray. I sure hope he knows we love him and miss him. That sounded unsure. I am not unsure of that. I know he knows we love him and miss him and will miss him more. I hope he knows and feels how blessed we feel to have had him as our father and husband and that he knows we are proud of him and look forward to being with him again. 

Now I have two very close angels to greet me when the time comes!! 

I used to worry a bit about that. Before Miles, I hadn't known tons of sorrow because of close relatives deaths. My grandparents were so old and I was pretty young when they died. I had aunts and uncles die and even my mother in law, who I love dearly. But my own immediate family, I had been, I must say, pretty lucky. Well, my luck has changed. For good or bad, however you want to look at it. But, I have now been initiated into the "club"! Wow, that is lucky, huh? (that's tongue in cheek by the way!!). 

Anyway, anyhoo, my life has changed. No, my world has changed. It's wierd to go outside and to the store or wherever and nothing has changed and people are doing the same things, and everything looks the same, and sometimes I want to scream, "Hey, stop. Don't you realize that things are different??? Stop being normal! Stop going on as before!! Because things are NOT as they were before!!"   I do realize that it's me that's changed, not the world. And I can't expect it to nor I guess want it to stop and or change. But just for a brief moment, maybe I would!!

So, Dad, and Miles, and everyone that has gone on, and changed my world, here's a brief moment for you. I will just sit here and do nothing in honor of you!! But just for a moment.